We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Grown​-​Ups

by pencildive

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $8 USD  or more

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes with one sticker and one button. Printed using green friendly ink and recycled board stock.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Grown-Ups via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $10 USD or more 

     

1.
If Mother Nature swallows us whole Would you blame her? No. She has reached out to hold our hand And what have we done? We’ve only let go Take a photo Emotional solo Wringing out the feel Add a soundtrack Make it nostalgic Is anybody real? Is anyone real?
2.
Kids 03:34
I’m hearing them talk I don’t understand it I’m holding myself back from having a total fit Is that how you honor another human being What if they were still living What if they were still breathing Why am I seeing them die I am still wondering why Why did I keep a straight face Then why did I go home and cry The kids are alright They’re alright So let them ride on their bikes When we’re young We don’t give a shit about our outsides Then we grow up and we lose our minds What I can do now Is walk away When I was younger I’d force myself to stay And now my ears They bleed so heavy And you can stand there and watch ‘Cause my feet are steady Why am I seeing them die I am still wondering why Why did I keep a straight face Then why did I go home and cry The kids are alright They’re alright So let them ride on their bikes When we’re young We don’t give a shit about our outsides Then we grow up and we lose our minds I’m a stone inside Take me outside so I can cry I’m all dried up it’s time Push my head so I can see the sky Yeah today I really tried Opened up to see the other side But I feel weird inside Yeah I still feel weird inside
3.
The Sweats 03:21
I pace around the room and pause to stare at all my shit I tried for hours to put away all of it I wonder how it all would look if it were lit It’d be much easier to set fire to it Well time for me to sleep so I can grind up on my teeth And so I can sweat all up inside my sheets And so I can have all of the worst kinds of dreams My friends, they are all beautiful and anxious all the time And I’m so happy that I can call them mine They slap me ‘round when I am down to change my mind We can’t rewind Well time for me to sleep so I can grind up on my teeth And so I can sweat all up inside my sheets And so I can have all of the worst kinds of dreams I feel the heavy weight and tingle rushing over me Did anyone see my internal desperate plea I go outside, be with the sky to make it right A gentle breeze behind the knees sets me in flight Well time for me to sleep so I can grind up on my teeth And so I can sweat all up inside my sheets And so I can have all of the worst kinds of dreams
4.
My friends gave up on me ‘cause I’m never around We use our thumbs instead of making real sounds Sitting at my desk waiting for someone to save me We could all create an emergency Everyone is freaking me out Everyone is tryin’ to run me off of the road Floor it ‘till I make it back home Workin’ on my moves so I can be with the crows Loyal as we mob all our foes Everyone is freaking me out It’s time that we all fall into our parts Never mind our empty hearts Everyone is freaking me out Oh my god Everybody’s freaking me Freaking me out Freaking me out Freaking me out Yeah yeah yeah! Pick one thing and make it last So you can brand yourself into the past You’d better adhere to something fast
5.
My Arms 03:24
Move along They say it ain’t long Something’s wrong Blink my eyes and now you’re gone These are my legs A to B pegs These are my arms Up to down Open wide Roll around blurry eyes Cue the cry Nothing’s left The well’s run dry These are my legs A to B pegs These are my arms Up to down To down These are my arms Up to down Something’s wrong These are my arms Up to down Something’s wrong Now you’re gone
6.
Skin 03:13
I skin myself out of bed I feel my body has disconnected from my head Another day bleeding eyes None of my friends told me that this is what I have inside Listening to a segment where they’re telling me to “just be myself” I realized that all my friends, they only buy me books about self-help Long drives and another day Held myself back just enough for me to not walk away And by the skin of my teeth I didn’t blindfold myself and walk out into the street Listening to a segment where they’re telling me to “just be myself” I realized that all my friends, they only buy me books about self-help Pause and play please go away This screen just makes my eyes go to hell Stare and wave my hands at you I’ve got to beg to play show and tell But I daydream About someone running over me What would my last thought be Something about Kill Bill 3 Wooooooooooo! Listening to a segment where they’re telling me to “just be myself” I realized that all my friends, they only buy me books about self-help Pause and play please go away This screen just makes my eyes go to hell Stare and wave my hands at you I’ve got to beg to play show and tell
7.
Bookends 03:24
There you are in the center I’ve been orbiting round Lately you’ve been moving so fast Frame by frame while I’m sitting down Down It’s always been complicated Nothing is a straight line The creases I see in the corners Are the only way that I can tell time Time I know we’ll say goodbye I know we’ll say goodbye I know we’ll say goodbye I know we’ll say goodbye Everything keeps moving forward We all know that’s the deal Can’t tell when things are supportive Or a cut to the Achilles’ heel Heel Think I forgot to consider That I don’t believe in time Why does it have to be bookends Or leaving it all behind Behind This is not goodbye This is not goodbye This is not goodbye So please wipe your eye I pedal my bike Like I’m going to space And I’d probably laugh hard If I could just see my face And I think about tragedies Right before bed Holding hands with the memories Inside my head And just when I think It’s already collapsed It’s like someone juiced up A brand new relapse And could someone please stop by To tell me I’m wrong So that I could sleep tight tonight Sweet dreams so long! Do we have to say goodbye I don’t want to say goodbye Let’s not say goodbye I know it’s not goodbye
8.
Face 04:37
Something’s in my head It’s got me wanting to run People say not to participate if it isn’t fun But here we are Tapping feet Day after day And I quickly feel enthusiasm fading away Who’s gonna pull me out Who’s gonna show me my face You know the one I mean You know the one I mean What’s wrong with me What’s wrong with me I don’t even notice The art that’s on the wall And picking at my fingers It doesn’t help at all And now they bleed What’s wrong with me Why do you look at me Like I know what to do It’s been a thousand years And we’re all still confused Playing hooky Looky looky Just to be with my friends Maybe today I’ll salivate and stop playing pretend Who’s gonna pull me out Who’s gonna show me my face You know the one I mean You know the one I mean What’s wrong with me What’s wrong with me Today I rode my bike It felt so fuckin’ free No one in front Or behind me Just a breeze What a tease The people on the street Are louder than the birds Aimlessly flailing ‘Cause everyone’s unsure We’re all impure But what’s the cure I don’t even notice The art that’s on the wall And picking at my fingers Well it doesn’t help at all And now they bleed What’s wrong with me Who’s gonna pull me out Who’s gonna show me my face You know the one I mean You know the one I mean What’s wrong with me What’s wrong with me
9.
Grown-Ups 03:52
There was a time When we could unwind We had each other’s backs These days we’re drowning I swear it’s this town And everything it lacks Don’t you want your ears to be sailing Doesn’t it feel like we’re failing Is there time to repair and It makes me a little bit scared Now that we’re grown It all feels more alone And I talk to myself Will it all line back up Or is tragedy stuck I know what I felt Don’t you want your ears to be sailing Doesn’t it feel like we’re failing Wish it could all be repaired and I’m sorry that I had to bail How does it play out It’s all inside out I’m protecting myself You’ve got your life It’s so different than mine Compromise it would help Don’t you want your ears to be sailing Doesn’t it feel like we’re failing Wish it could all be repaired and It makes me a little bit scared It makes me a little bit scared
10.
I look straight ahead You see that my eyes are swollen and dead I heard what you said You’re stuck inside your own little head I’m wondering if I can lead this life I’m wondering if it’s all just the hype I know that I’ve got to make it mine I’m feeling the closing in of the time I don’t know it all But I consider myself to have a little respect I wouldn’t sit right near you And make all those jokes about having sex I’m wondering if I can lead this life I’m wondering if it’s all just the hype I know that I’ve got to make it mine I’m feeling the closing in of the time I guess I am strange Thinking I could sit alone on this day Reading books about ghosts Right next to a group of big egos I’m wondering if I can lead this life I’m wondering if it’s all just the hype I know that I’ve got to make it mine I’m feeling the closing in of the time

credits

released May 28, 2021

Gina De Nardo - vocals, guitar
Kevin Cardinale - bass, field recordings
Zach Hirsch - drums

Dead and Swollen:
Alicia Macier VanScoy - violin (written and performed by)

All songs written by Gina De Nardo and arranged together as Pencildive.
All Songs Recorded and Mixed by Jesse Bolduc of Nashphone Studios and Mastered by Tom Nunes
Produced by Jesse Bolduc, Gina De Nardo, and Zach Hirsch

Repurposed old book illustration by Fran Waldmann

Many sincere thanks to:

Joanna De Nardo, Ahm Armenti, Kris, Chloe and Trevor Daily, Adriana and Sammy De Nardo, Gypsy Lee, Angela Sheil (ride-or-die), Jesse Bolduc, Alicia Macier VanScoy, Caitlin Barker (EMOLdotcom), Jon Cantiello, Jake Feldman, Laura and Mike Pascone, Sarah Bates, the Cardinale family, Kevin Stephenson, Eric Rothstein, Gary C., Asa Morris, Ryan Whalen, Danielle Elliot, the Hirsch family, Natalie Archer, Little Slugger, Scoop, Jane Bennett, Candy Ambulance, Sifu Sam Ling, James Gascoyne for lending me a guitar full of songs, Tom Nunes for your kindness, Sam Zucchini, Ann Davran, Lora Lee Ecobelli, Frankie and Amanda De Nardo, Parkway Music, Love of Fuzz, Jimmy and Robbie Armenti, the Paintbox fam, all friends and family who have shown support as we continue to navigate the weeds.

© ℗ 2021 Paintbox Records

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

pencildive Brooklyn, New York

Pencildive is a NYC-based rock band led by songwriter/guitarist Gina De Nardo. The sound ranges from tender to explosive, with punchy drums and gritty guitar interwoven with brooding melodies and live noise experiments. De Nardo's haunting vocals about lost love and sleepless nights slice through the trio's wild, electric arrangements in a frenzy of gloomy punk. ... more

contact / help

Contact pencildive

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Report this album or account

If you like pencildive, you may also like: